I've been questioning a lot of things, specially about God. I dont question His existance, more about why things happen and how sometimes the reality breaks my heart. I've been sinned and down on my knees praying and sobbing out of gratefulness. I've been up and down and in beetwen. I've been happy and disapointed. I've been loved and broken.
At this point of my life I can conclude that I have so much faith in God, that all of emotion that I feel is because I care so much about Him and I want to know Him better. I think that's the only human logic way of explaining why Iam head over heels thinking about this life, day and night, because I want to make it right. Okay, Iam not the best student or such but really, if there is something I want to be working is this one life He gives me. Or probably I thinks too much since everything is written down on the book. Haha.
I dont know. The only thing that prevents me being on the bottom of the river is the thought of Him hating me. Well, I did all sort of mistakes and sins and I just dont want things to be worse by slicing my vein. Plus it hurts. I cant stand physical pain. So here Iam, slouching by the fish pond muching some Jelly Beans thinking about spiritualism. It is a good day indeed.
