First Day of Summer 2017

Today has been amazing thanks to everyone who kindly sent their prayer and wishes for me. I can't help but smiling every time a message coming in, wishing me a happy birthday. Receiving that message alone is happiness for me.

It's not my usual June 21st today. It was raining hard this morning, which was ironic, cause it supposed to be the first day of summer. Never before it did rain on my birthday. It's always sunny and bright and especially hot here in Surabaya. I actually was a bit happy. I love rainy morning. It's just a perfect temperature to hide under blanket while letting your window opened a little, so the falling rain can lullaby you to the dreamland.

***

I recall my birthday last year. I was angry and desperate and hopeless. I was in a bad place where I felt like I was ambushed from all direction by reality. I hated my job. I had a big fight with my mom. I was lost and felt so alone. I was hurt, I was broken hearted. I was crying so ugly at the corner of a coffee shop because I felt like it was too much. Too much for me to understand, too much for me to handle, too much for me to let go. It was one of the time when all I could see was darkness. I was stuck. I was blinded by sorrow. 

It's another turning point, as I decided to change my own destiny. Long before my 24th birthday, I decided to quit the job I hate and started something new. Something I always want but somehow, I got hesitate in the middle and ran back to the comfort zone. Something I was scared of, but couldn't bring myself to quit dreaming about it. It takes me 3 months thinking about it thoroughly, cause I knew this would change everything. I had to be brave, since I put everything on the bet. I put my future on the bet. I wished I shouldn't have to make a hard decision like this. I wish I had enough with what I had back then. But I kept starring out of the window during the day, my mind couldn't stop wondering far from the cubicle I sat. There's a point where my dreams gave me an urge to wake up, wake up and start running to the distant reflected in my eyes. That's when dreams became a need. Ignoring that need only brought me more pain in my chest. So I woke up and started running.

I force myself to keep running towards the goals I set. It's funny cause the further I run, the easier it feels. Things do change, thank God for the better. It was hard at first, specially during the transition time. It was hard because it's not only me adapting to the new environment, everyone around me was adapting too. I realise it's not just about me, cause as I grow, people around me also grow with me. They needed time as much as I did, probably even more. So I gave them the only things I could give: time and space. And I give myself the best thing I could give: faith.

***

When I recall today one year ago, I can see the heavy cloud surrounded myself, sending storm after storm to test my faith. It was hard, I know I repeat this million times already. Will it be easier now for me? I don't think so. Life never gets easier. In fact, it always go harder to the point where we think we can't handle. But that's the thing about human's mind: it's not always true. When we think we can  no longer handle a challenge, that can be a cue for us to remind ourself that we are stronger than what our mind think we are. We have the ability, the only thing standing in our way is ourself, our mind.

When I recall today one year ago, I can only imagine me thinking about a future full of sorrow and pain. I can imagine myself thinking this state will last forever. Little did I know, things are so much different today. Little did I know, I can be happy from the deepest corner of my soul. 

Here I am today, a quarter century later, feeling so much better about who I really am. I feel like I'm finally embracing myself, start correcting my bad habits one at the time, start loving how I look when I wake up, start respecting the ideas I have, start listening to how I feel inside. I feel like I'm starting to find a solid ground to stand. And I have all my friends to thank to, for being supportive and loving and caring. I have to thank my family for fighting with me, even though we have different way of handling problems and challenges. I have to thank all of the Uber/Grab/Gojek drivers who have been source of inspirations and motivations through their stories. I'm grateful for the opportunities I have to meet new people and to visit beautiful places. I'm grateful for being inspired everyday by little acts of kindness around me.

I'm so proud of my 24 years old self who braved the unknown and gave myself a chance to be who I am today. When I look back, I can't help but feeling happy, 'cause I feel I'm growing closer to the person I wanna be.

Jump, take that leap of faith. Do not look down when you cross cause it will look terrifying. Look in front of you, to the horizon that feels like infinity. That's how much possibilities in life is waiting for you.

Jogja Archive: Oasis

When I decided to spent the weekend at Jogjakarta to attend ArtJog 2017, I immediately thought of YATS Colony and Greenhost Boutique Hotel. YATS Colony has been everywhere lately. Influencers and celebgrams is coming in and going out of that place, making it the hippest boutique hotel at the moment. While Greenhost has captured my attention since 2016 with its rooftop garden and those greenery against grey unfinished walls. It has the calming atmosphere, just like Brown Feather although Greenhost has more urban-dynamic vibes. As I thought, YATS was fully booked for the weekend so I went for Greenhost this time around.

The moment I set foot at Greenhost, there's only one thing in my mind: a perfect hideout with in the center of the city. The building is covered in greens so it looks like a giant tree in the middle of one busy corner of Prawirataman. When you enter the building, you'll be greeted by big blue swimming pool with vines covering the balcony from the highest floor down to the ground. It's like a green waterfall. And all of sudden, my fatigue was vanished thanks to the refreshing view. The interior is quite simple with woods and plants dominating the space. As I told you earlier, they left the wall unfinished without paint. I really really love the place I'm glad I checked in there instead of YATS Colony (even thou I believe YATS Colony is as beau as Greenhost).

10 things I love from my stay at Greenhost:

1. Within walk distance from my favorite coffee spot at Jogja, Ruang Seduh

2. Within walk distance from my favorite gelato place at Jogja, Tempo Gelato

3. I basically love the ambience. It's not fully cold-urban-hipster-place thanks to the greens. They make it more homey and warm and comfy.

4. The rooftop garden is so so beautiful. I think it's using hydroponic system where you don't need soil to grow your plants. Also, all of the harvest are organic and very well maintained, so I believe they have high quality. Oh, I wish I can build one at home.

5. The resto use ingredients planted at the rooftop garden. Talk about super fresh stuffs.

6. It's somehow always breezy inside the property no matter how hot Jogja is.

7. It is peaceful and quite at night which is a bit surprising for me considering it has a lot of rooms and people keep coming and going.

8. The room is super cute. I didn't take any pic of the room because it's a hot mess haha. But I remember they are using environment friendly furnitures. They also encourage the visitor to be wise while using the electricity and the water. They provide reusable bag for laundry (not a plastic bag guys!). They also provide us with natural, eco-friendly soap that wraps in recycled paper. I really appreciate the commitment for creating such an environment where we can contribute for a good cause. From my short stay at Greenhost, I get reminded that I can contribute at home too, starting from small things. Thank you.

9. They have bar at the rooftop! 

10. I didn't get to try any food from their resto but the pricing is quite fair (IDR 50K - IDR 100K). They also have many selection of Indonesian food and light bites.

Will I come back to Greenhost again? I would love to. But I guess I'll be trying out another hotel on my next visit cause there are several places that have quite similar ambience with Greenhost.

Jogja Archive: Busy Mind Song

More fun from The ArtJog 2017.

come find me under the blanket

take me out on the cold dark street

whisper utopia promises on my ear

open my eyes to the new wonders

when the cuckoo sings

I'll be running back to my little corner

but you know by heart

I always wait for you behind the shadow of the sun

Bucket List: ArtJog

Yes, I'm here at Jogjakarta for ArtJog this year. YAY! I remember 3 months ago planning this trip but I was half believing it would really happen, alhamdulillah.

This is my first time attending an art exhibition so I'm super excited. I have to say ArtJog this year is so so so amazing, event though I never been here before hahaha. I experienced a lot of new things in one place, for less than 6 hours and it cost me only IDR 50K. I'm glad that I bought the ticket to Jogja immediately after I got back from Ubud.

Turns out, contemporer art is not that hard to enjoy. In fact, I love that it gives me new perspectives and a new way of seeing things. ArtJog has several light installation that stole my eyes cause it's simply beautiful and also super instagenic. I also love an art that showcase night sky using batik fabric as the sky. It has UFO, poets, spaceship, stars and all the sky creatures drawn on the fabric. On the contrast, the walls are painted with images of the nation struggles; poverty, cheated leaders, destruction and sorrow. The painting is in monochrome, which adds more dramatic vibes. Oh my oh my, I spent like 20 minutes day dreaming inside that installation. The painting gives you painful and sad feelings but then you look up to find the lively night sky, home for dreams and hopes. I guess that's why it has poets written on it and UFO and spaceship. It's all for the dreamers to escape from their daily routine. And in between all of those emotions, I find beauty that moves my heart. That one is definitely one of my favorite.

Another one of my favorite is an installation called The Seen and The Unseen. I didn't catch the name of the artist and I couldn't find it on the booklet they gave us. The installation comes in 2 different mediums. The first medium is a movie that tells a story about kids who secretly enjoy the dark of the night. They sneak out of their blanket to go out and watch the moon bloom. Then they'll dance out of happiness cause they find peace and courage under the bright silver light. The second medium is the set up of the moon at the movie. They built the same setting as we see in the movie playing right next to it, so we can enter the set and experience what the kids see, how the kids feel. They even painted the night sky and brought actual crops to the set. Truly an interesting way to enjoy art. As a newbie I'm super impressed and amazed.

I didn't get most of the art works showcased there. When I looked at the visitors who seemed to be all deep and serious observing an installation, I got curious of what they found out there. But then I spent like 5 minutes staring at it and I didn't feel anything haha. I guess, art is really personal matter, eh?

Again, I really am happy to experience various waves of emotions. I listened to a painting, I watched the light playing with shadow, I walked inside an art, I smelt fear through a movie. I felt like I was thrown in wonderland with a lot of doors that lead to so many places and I was allowed to enter every single door. 

This year has been amazing so far. I can finally checked Artjog out of my bucket list, along with UFF too. Ooh what did I do to deserve these blessings? :D