Judgemental

Healthy update: I feel so much better right now! Oh, nothing feels as good as being fit and healthy again. Looking back, the last 2 weeks had been a though and rocky time. But now that I'm getting my energy back, I find it kinda funny that I struggle a lot to decide what to do in that tricky time: endless work load and lots of exciting project versus taking a break cause my body scream in desperation for a rest day.

I know that health is important. It's just, I couldn't help but think that I had to be strong too. After all, my boss put her trust on me and I didn't want to let her down. I wanted to exceed her expectation. Thus, I forced myself to keep going forward. Several times, I decided that I need to stop cause I felt extremely tired. But then I woke up in the morning and I thought, "I can do another miles". I kept on thinking that if I couldn't surpass this, I wouldn't be able to carry on further for a bigger responsibilities. I was desperate; of being able to succeed and of getting a well deserve rest time. And I wanted them all. As long as I could still walk, I wouldn't stop.

The moment I called it off was the moment I thought it's save to take a leave from my work for a day. Still, there's this tiny thought slipped my mind. Was it my wisdom talking, advising me to take a break for a while? Or was it my selfishness, trying to lure me with indulgent cause I have "an excuse"? At that point, I always feel like I'm loosing my faith in my self, something that I find, very irritating. Is this what people called being-hard-to-yourself? Or is this a determination? Oh Lord. Life is a never ending school and homework, eh? ;)

I'm getting better at listening to my heart lately. So I guess I should learn listen to my body too. Or let's just hope I do a good job at my healthier diet, so I don't have to be in that position again. Haha.

The Bedrest Day Story

It's another cloudy and gloomy afternoon in Surabaya. I've had my lunch and hot tea but still reluctant of taking any medicine. So I headed to the terrace and sit by the pond, hoping that a fresh air could help sorted my mind and kicked away the flu.

There I was, sitting still, admiring the grey sky while sending a little prayer that I'd get better by tomorrow. Then the silence filled with rumbling sky. I was amazed, as that was the first time I got to hear the sky roaring, like saying something but in an audible language. I had my headsets on but I didn't play any song. I was still listening to the rumbles. It's so serene and peaceful, just like all those quotes say: the calm before the storm. I felt like I was being transport to a vulnerable dimension, where this delicate time exist in slow motion, where every rumbles sing a song and the wind whisper a warning through each of our nape hair. A lot of people admire the rainy day. Just now, I found out that moment before the sky cried itself out, was the moment of solitude.

The rain started to fall down, making a little ripples all over the pond. At first I could hear every single drop of it hitting the surface of the land, then, it got blurry as the intensity rise up. I was still sitting by the pond. My feet got wet. And I felt so much better.

Man Down

Guess what?

I'm down with flu. And stomachache. And probably anemia too.

Ladies and gentleman, I've reached my limit.

It's all began in cloudy and gloomy March. The weather had been crazy; sometime it's so hot in the afternoon then raining storm in the night; sometimes it's raining all day long; sometimes it looks sunny then 5 minutes later, heavy rain falls with no mercy to a biker like me. I got caught in the rain way too many times than I'd like to for the past 2 weeks. I got home all wet and cold and hungry and tired. One time, I went to a meeting with my wet jeans cause it's suddenly raining so hard on the way to the meeting point. I was so unlucky to drive my bike that time, instead of taking Uber like I used to. I also often skipped my breakfast lately due to a hectic morning schedules. Some days, I had to suppress my hunger through the meeting and wish that they didn't hear my rumbling stomach. I don't really understand why, but ever since my eating schedule changed, I had no appetite to have lunch and dinner. It's terrifying. I got lazy to eat, which was my favorite activity to do :(

Today is probably the peak of all the unhealthy eating habit and bad weather for the past two weeks. I woke up with a dizzy head and high temperature on my body. At first I shook it off, since it's not the first time I woke up with a fever. It's usually fading as the day goes by, especially after I have my breakfast and coffee. But the dizziness got worse on my way to the office. My nose was super itchy, my neck was cold, I couldn't seem to concentrate in anything. All I could think about was lying down and sleeping the day away. It's actually frustrating, since it's not the right time to be sick and not functioning well. It's never the right time to be sick anyway.

So yeah, I've reached my limit. I guess, as much as I don't like the idea, I have to take a day off. Or at least working from home, where I can take care of my self in comfy pajamas, hot choco, quick nap in the afternoon and 3 times of proper meal a day. It's actually not a bad option, considering the sickness can get worse and result in a total bed rest. And I hate the idea of visiting the doctor, let alone being hospitalised. I don't like taking medicine either. If I can still hold up with warm milk, fruits, chocolate, honey and lemon, I'm not going to pop the pills. Medicine is the least favorite chemical I'm willingly put inside my body.

Naturally, I get more discipline with my food. Yesterday I did a grocery shopping with my dad. We bought a lot of greens (only the ones that I like cause I'm picky with veggie) and anything healthy looking to improve my immune and metabolism. Dad ended up cooking us a nice saute bok choy and boiled potato for dinner. Fyi, Dad and I rarely cook at home, so when Mom found us at the kitchen cooking dinner, she's kind of surprise with the unusual scene. The dinner was amazing. As much as I love McDonald's, I have to admit that eating light, fresh and healthy always gives a good energy on my body. I need to give more effort in doing that cause being bloated during the day is never a pleasant feeling.

What lesson do I learn from this unfortunate event? First, do eat well. Put nutrients on your body by eating "good food". Postponing McD and Indomie to the weekend can be a good start. Second, check on your local weather forecasting so you can prepare an "umbrela". Lastly, get enough sleep cause nothing a good sleep can't cure.

Ciao ;)

(zzz zzz zzz)