Sunday, January 28, 2018

On Purpose



Never before I have this huge, urgent feeling of helping somebody else in my life. But I do. And I want to help so much, to the point that I'm scared I may miss something I can do to lessen her burden. I'm constantly in paranoia that I don't do enough, that I'm not useful enough.

Never before I feel so horrified that I feel like I can burst out into tears in any moment. I feel like I'm looking at the face of the nightmare, the one that I don't imagine encountering in my life. But there it is, making an appearance and here I am, shivering with the cold of reality.

I remember praying, so hard, I repeat the same sentence over and over again in my head. I hope the more I repeat it, the clearer God will hear me. I say, please let me take care of her. I say, please let me make her happy. I say, please lend her your strenght so she can overcome this problem. I say, please let her stay.

Please let her stay,
so I can show her how beautiful things can be.

Never before I thought living my life for other people. But I do. And I wish that I'm given that opportunity by God, to take care of the ones I dearly love for the deepest of my soul.

Please let her stay.


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