How does it feel to be in the calm? I've been wondering lately about it. It's not something new, it's just something I'm not used to, for quite sometimes. There's a deja vu feeling about it, a distant memory of being in a similar situation as I previously ever had been yet I couldn't as much as place where and when. All I can indicate is a fleet of nostalgia, like a second chance to reliving a certain moment I almost forget ever happened once. And when it's over, there's bits of peculiarity that I might have traveled the time, without the consciousness of ever changing time and scenery.
I don't know about the right or wrong in the case of adulting: should I flow down the stream or should I pick up the battle I've left halfway a year ago. Or, am I supposed to to both, finding the so called balance without pushing myself tiptoeing the fine line of ambition and greed. I don't think it will ever be right or wrong, as much as there's 50 shades blue during sunset and couple layers of reasons to do or not to do. But when it calms, they almost loose their urgency to place me on one side. Instead, I'm everywhere, in the presence of a new day and somewhere along my early years as child, or teenage or anything in between. Some night I cry out of estrange loneliness, some morning I wake up with a smile of gratitude. When I look around through the day, I always find a corner where I can belong, more rather than less, sometimes I can even stay longer than I expect.
I don't know if it's calmness, or an absence of distortion, or the best bet will be, growth. If I can take something out of this unknown state, it will be the graceful quality of peace inside my heart.
What ever will be, will be.
No comments:
Post a Comment