pic from pinterest.com
Guess what I've been doing whenever I had sleep deprived last week. It's Period Drama Week! Hopeless romantic mode activated.
It was started with The Duchess, cause I watched Marie Antoinette the previous week. I thought, why didn't I stick with the theme, so I went for another French period drama. Watching Keira at The Duchess made me missing Pride and Prejudice. I kept repeating the part when Mr. Darcy found out that Lizzy was visiting Pemberley with her Aunt and Uncle in my mind. I love love that part so much. Mostly because Mr. Darcy looked so nervous in front of Lizzy hahaha. He's so cute.
After Pride and Prejudice, I watched Ana Karenina and end the week with The Other Boleyn Girl. I was originally wanted to end the week with Becoming Jane but work got so hectic I fell asleep once I got home. The week might be so exhausting, but rewatching all of my precious period dramas gave me the strenght to carry on. All of those movies, aside from giving my sentimental side some entertainment, it also brings out ideas in my head.
After several nights of intense romance, it's finally driving me crazy. Why it is so hard to realise that kind of connection today? Why is it so hard to innocently fall in love, with out any other hidden objectives under the sleeves? All of these ideas are probably related most to Pride and Prejudice, since the other movies have the main characters involved in secret affairs. Why can't I find the va va voom just like the one Mr. Darcy and Lizzy share?
I remember Carrie talked about this once, but I can't remember the episode. I believe she's saying something about va va voom that makes this particular person special, makes him 'Our Person'. This indescribable emotion that keeps two individuals coming back together, even after being apart or having arguments. The irreplaceable feeling he left, as if no one else can fit the missing puzzle in our heart. And our mind in auto pilot, tracing back to our memories together, both the beautiful ones or the sour ones. This va va voom sounds a lot like dark magic work, haha, but that's how it is. Right?
I told myself once that I'm allowed to have a certain expectation when it comes to romance. It's nothing about the superficial features of the lover, more like how I want the relationship goes. But I know that I've been spoiled big time with all of the romance Jane Austen wrote. I know I have a sky high expectation of romance in this current age. I want no less than heart skips a beat when he kisses me, long comfortable silent as we read our favorite books together and dancing underneath the star light. Is it wise to sow in such dreams? Is it wise to keep indulging my mind in this period drama fatamorgana? After all, it's all fiction in the first place. It's never even happening in real life.
I want to believe part of myself, thinking that everything is possible in this life. I'm not sure how long I can hold on though.
