hey, i am really sorry

first of all, i am about asking for your apologies oh maybe begging for your apologies is the right one.

forgive me for being such an imature human ever. i know i avoided to be an adult all the time. i tried to avoid. but one thing i am believing now is being mature and being an adult is completely two different things. because age is just numbers. maturity, in the other hand, is about how you control your self. i am far away from the maturity because many times i just simply lose control. and drive you crazy in the end. so, sorry..

forgive me for being such a chiken because i do not apologize directly, face to face. i am not afraid of saying it right to you eyes. i am afraid of losing control of my self. i am afraid i hurt you deeper than i've done. fyi, i've been thinking about this the whole night (well, i am sorry for breaking my promise not to waste my bed time to you. i have a good reason for it) and i concluded that you are too kind to be hurted by someone like me and you shouldnt talk to a badass like me anymore. enough for breaking anyone's heart. so, sorry..

and the last one, forgive me to write the whole thing here, online. i know you hate publicity and so do i. this is really not my style, our style to communicate. so, let me end it here..

i may not be on my knees when i ask this to you. but i mean it from the deepest of my heart. i hope you feel what i feel to you..

finger crossed..