So, I've been re-reading my previous blog posts over the last two weeks of January. It's nice to sit back and recall all the things that I've been through last year, rethinking of how I felt back then and found a new perspectives every time I visited those memories. I guess, that's why I love to write my experience, my feelings, my anger, basically everything, down. It helps me a lot to reflect and map my mind in the future. It's also a good reminder of what I aim in life and what I want to achieve. It keeps track on how far I've came, how many times I've fallen, and how many times I, surprisingly, got back up again. Haha. I think so low of myself, just because, well, if you guys read all my old blog posts, I'm sure you'll get a picture why. If I may, this blog is probably my biggest achievement for the last 15 months. I couldn't make it this far without this blog. This is my steady ground, my safe place.
Ever since I decided to listen to my self more, I've been experiencing nothing but joy. I feel more like my self. I feel like, I truly live this life. Somehow, when you choose from your sincere heart, the hardship becomes your strenght, the rejection becomes your motivation, and going to sleep to dream and escape the reality is no longer your first option at the end of the day. It's more exciting to be awake and chasing the sun.
Of course, things don't always turn to your favor. But I have less regret if things go wrong, mostly because I already make peace with that possibilities before making that choice. I accept it and I'll be grateful for the lessons. I won't blame somebody/something else. I guess, I've grown out of that child's play. Again, when you choose from your sincere heart, it's easier to let go, it's easier to accept that everything doesn't always go as plan. Therefore, plan B is highly recommended. Ha! Now you even become smarter by preparing several plans for several possible outcomes. Isn't it wonderful? So let's go against the flow once in a while, with a good plan and risk management, it will become an exciting journey indeed.
Another thing that I'm so grateful for is my friends and family. Choosing an unconventional path is famous of how bumpy and heartbreaking the ride can be, but it doesn't mean you are alone. On the way, you will meet people who sincerely support your choice. You probably meet people who experience similar situation and sharing each other experience makes you feel less lonely. They pretty much understand your struggle and the joy of achieving a goal. They are you. Which is awesome cause it's like finding a family bonded by passion and common interest. It also makes you realise that the love you receive should never be taken for granted. Those people who stay by your side are precious treasures. You'll find them only after you go through a lot of stuffs, being hurt and mistreated. I'm forever grateful for having my support system that sometimes I shamelessly tell them how much they mean for me. I just want to let them know how I feel, they have to know how much they make me happy and worthy.
A friend of mine once told me, "This is probably looking like a mess right now. But it's necessary. Imagine for big you'll grow if you are able to handle this slippery situation. This is probably a once in a lifetime chance. Clean up the mess and earn their respect. You may achieve your goal faster than your plan. Just do it, go for it."
