The First Day of Summer 2018: Overthink

Yes, let's not think. Let's just, let everything slips away for once. Let's just savour this moment to the very last drop, till the very last bit of summer days evaporate to the thin air. I've been thinking too hard to make this weekend wonderful when it is already wonderful even without me putting anything on this space. The intention is of course to make this moment ever last by writing it down, but my brain is doing just fine lately that I think it's fine to pass on this one.

Hello June. This month has been anything but being blessed and loved. I visited my grandma earlier this month, I took my brother and sister to Ubud, I ate a lot of Balinese food, I took my family to dinner on my birthday, my friends got me my Jane Austen's dream shirt, my other friend sent me a sweet note on my birthday, the whole office sang me Happy Birthday on the first day back at work and a friend of mine just dropped off my favorite Lunpia Semarang at home. This month can't be any better, really, but it keeps going. Summer is really here because for the past week, the night sky has been the prettiest and the moon shines the brightest. Summer night is always the best.

I wish I could invite anyone who's willing to peek at my June days. It is that good that I wish I can just share all of this happy feeling with everyone by writing it down. I feel so grateful for everything, including the fact that I broke my bank account to buy a Docmart (dat stuff is expensive *sign*). I think my only complain is, it's going to fast, way to fast.

Please stay a moment. Let's just hang out. We don't even have to talk. Let's just, be each other's company for a little longer, June.

Rain on June

It's raining tonight! I will take it as early birthday present <3 p="">
(I take every single good thing as birthday presents for the last 7 days)

26

I've been thinking real hard on what I will write on this post to mark D-30 until my birthday. Last year's note was so so good and full of self reflections, full of emotions and changes. It doesn't mean that it stops now. It's just, I feel more settled as an adult that I don't experience as many turbulences as last year. I have decided on things, I guess. Or, is it the opposite? This settling feeling, is it maybe because I'm no longer exploring?

I think, this is probably a phase where I just go for it. I kind of figure out what I want to be, who I want to be. All that's left is go for it. Go for it really hard. So hard you have nothing else on your mind but pushing every single muscle on your body to make it work work work. Then I will fall asleep with oily face unwashed and a kitten sits on my chest, demanding attention. I wake up with super tired feeling, as if I don't get a rest. Then I will hurry to prepare my self for work. Am I lost in this wave of the ocean? Does my ship get carried away? I do go for it but, do I remember why? Do I remember the big goal I aim? It's kinda scary how easy things slip out of our hands, our attention. Everyday becomes only a blur scene of routine. And at the end of the day, you're one of CPU that demands to be reboot cause the disk is almost full.

And you thought the hardest part is figuring out what you want in this world. Holding on to your big plan is harder. Running to every open door with all you might is harder. You thought you settle, but it's just a beginning baby.