I met him on Tuesday. I made him wait for about 15 mins when he picked me up at a cafe that afternoon. I felt guilty cause I made him wait for quite sometime. But what scared me most was, he cancelled my Uber order.
But he didn't.
I was worn out after hosting a gathering at that cafe, and I expected I'd fall asleep once I hit the passenger seat. But he seemed nice even after I made him wait. He asked me how my day was and we talked about the weather. He is a big guy with a friendly smile, kind eyes and loud laugh. I forgot I was tired.
He asked me if it's okay to take a shortcut crossing a graveyard. I told him, during daylight, I fear nothing. He laughed. He told me it's nothing like ordinary graveyard. It's not scary at all. In fact, there are street food and small food stalls scatter around the graveyard. No way, there is no sane people hanging out at a graveyard, I said.
Challenge accepted, he said.
He's no kidding. The graveyard was as lively as any other market I've ever been. I told him this was my first time passing by this area of Surabaya. He said this area used to be his home during his childhood. He loves passing by sometimes, for old times sake. He pointed a house with brown fences. "That's where I grew up. It's a good time indeed".
I think it's because the nostalgic mood, he started to tell a story about his life after. "There's this girl. A sweet one. I liked her. She liked me. We were together for 8 freakin years. 8. Freakin. Years."
They broke up after 8 years of togetherness. Her parents set her up with another guy who happened to be, well, richer than him. He was heart broken. He was lost. He was upset and hurt. It's so painful that he needed drugs to forget, even just for a while. He quited school. He got drunk a lot. He's a big unbearable mess. But mostly, he's sad for himself.
"How do you find a way back?"
"I didn't. He found me and lead me back."
At the darkest time, he found light and faith in God. He said, it's like a tsunami, so sudden, without warning, but left a big impact in his soul. The tsunami wiped out all the sorrow, giving him hopes, pushing him forward, mending his broken heart. The more he's surrender to Him, the more he felt powerful of his own self. He did everything he could to be better. He built his own company. He earned a lot from that company. Things were starting to get right.
Until he committed another sin.
He said, everything that he earned that time; the money, the respect, had blinded him again. He thought he had everything, therefore, he could do anything. He committed a sin he still regret till this very day. He wished he could turn back time.
Everything fell apart, once more. He lost what he'd been building. He lost himself again. At the hardest time in his life, it felt so easy to go back to the darkness. He knew a way to make him forget all of this hardship, even just for awhile. But he couldn't go there. He simply couldn't go back there. This time around, it felt twice painful than before. He wanted to stop. He wanted to end everything.
"I tried to kill my self. 3 times. On my last attempt, they had to run me to the emergency room. It was a mess. Everyone was sad and hurt and it made me suffer more. That's another turning point for me."
He really meant it this time. He gave his best to get back on his feet again. This time, it's not about him anymore. It's about people who love him, people who stay right beside him, even during his darkest time. He got himself a steady job. He got married. He's building his life step by step, one at the time.
"Funny is, I don't even remember her face anymore, my 8-years-long-ex-girlfriend. You can say she's starting it all, the mess I'd been into. Hahaha, kidding, but not really. Hahaha. Right now, my life feels different. I'm not as rich as I was when having my own company. But it's enough. The thought of coming home to my lovely wife and kids is one that keeps my heart warm. God is kind. I did terrible things over and over again, yet he leads me back over and over again. He sends me this lovely people, who stay, who's been my source of power the last 5 years. I don't want to ruin this one. I'm happy. My family is happy. That more than enough."
I was speechless, so I just smiled. We arrived at the office 5 mins after. I still couldn't say anything even thou I felt million things after hearing his story; touched, sad, sorrow, confused, happy. Mostly happy of his new beginning. At the end I just said, "Please, never let go of what's precious to you now. You've worked so hard to earn them back".
I remembered he smiled, his kind eyes were teary as I shut the door.
I'm glad I got a chance to cross path with him that day.
-- Pictures are from my trip to Baluran National Park. Lovely place to spend a quite weekend.
No signal, no electricity after 8 pm. Perfect.
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