An Outbreak

Something reminds me of the joy finishing my work well this week. And I can't hide my smile all dayyyy long. This reminds me how I fall in love with creating, how I enjoy every step of the way, how I love witnessing a vision into reality and then, passed as a moment that lives in your memory. The best part is, I'm fully being myself the whole process.

I'd been working on this project since last December. I'd been working this myself. I'd been putting my concepts and ideas and crafts into it. Usually, I'm not alone. Usually there's another person involves that makes me compromise my ideal. Usually, I grow less and less confidence on the way cause the other person seems to be more capable on every aspect than me. But this time, I could handle it well, all by myself. The best part was, I was fully being myself the whole process.

I was dead focused on the day of the project's execution. I was nervous, yet I was prepared for any possibilities: the good and the bad. There's a comic I read last week that talked about a spesific mental state of a person that is so focused on whatever he's doing he can see things in slow motion, he can see things go in second and react faster to it. I'm not on that state, yet, hahaha. It's just, I got the taste of myself being super into something I can control everything without breaking a sweat or being frustated like I usually feel. It's as if I have ten hands connected to my brain, doing all different tasks for me. The best part was, I was fully being myself the whole process.

But I did have ten extra hands with me during the day that helped me making the project quite successful. This might be one of the reason why I felt really really good about the project: the fact that I was not standing there alone, trying to do everything on my own. I handpicked my own team, they worked on my pace and my way, they enjoyed the work and I enjoyed their companion. After the project done, we were all tired and hungry but we managed to raise the glass and congratulated ourselves for being such a team mate for each others. Moment like that was something I've been missing, a lot. Moment when I felt really grateful for having a team running along with me to the finish line.

Those lonely days I felt through 2019 was me yearning for people who were not only capable of doing their job, but also willing to be part of a long journey to reach the dream: to get to the destination we aim individualy as a union. They say, being an entrepreneur is a lonely battle. It is, but it doesn't always have to be that way. After all entrepreneurship means you can decide on your own stuffs, including doing a one man show or building an empire. Each option carries its own obstacle. I started this project alone then finished it surrounded with some of the best people I know. That's what I choose for myself. The best part is, I'm fully being myself the whole process.

Isn't it funny? I think I lost myself when I decided to quit my previous office. I think I might never feel the joy anymore. I think I'm gonna have a hard time creating again. Here I'm feeling all the love in the world doing the same thing, but on my own wisdom. Fully, deeply, happily myself the whole process. I hope the whole team feel the same as Iam.

Another best: I finally feel like moving forward, bit by bit, with courage, hope and no longer alone.