Talking to Strangers

Lately, I've been using online taxi to go everywhere. I get to the point where I downloaded all taxi online apps available at Apps Store: Uber, Grab, Gojek. I join their mailing list to keep updated about their latest promo, to save more money hehe. It's been satisfying since I can travel leisurely on the back seat, not worrying about the traffic or where to park my car. I can even doze for 10 mins before arriving at my next destination. All is good.

January has been my peak season. So much to do, so little time. I find myself spending most of my time on the road, at the comfort of a stranger's backseat, rushing to my next schedule. Riding on a taxi used to be terrifying for me. I remember back then when I had to travel using taxi, I texted my parents about the identity of the driver, the car's plate and the serial number of the taxi. I used to be paranoid, and silly. Haha. I guess this job has pushed me to accomplished new challenges everyday, demands me to grow outside the garden. Which is good, I supposed.

I don't know what's got into me. I have this new habit to start a small chit chat with the driver. I think, it was starting out as an ice breaker, common talk about the traffic and the weather. But then it grows into something I like to do. First it's the weather, the next thing I know I'm in a deep conversation about building a family. It's funny. That kind of topic is rare to come out from my mouth, even during a convo with my mother. I feel a liberating feeling to talk about almost anything to the stranger in front of me. Probably, because they don't know me personally, so I don't need to worry about they judge me or my life choices. All they know is a passenger who almost late to her next meeting, a hard worker, and inexperience in romance. All the necessary information they need to know about me, no more no less. Nothing too personal, but still a friendly gesture for two strangers stuck in the same room.

At the end of my trip, I always replaying my convo with those people. Some of them inspire me greatly. Some of them make me learn more about life. Some of them are to polite to disagree with me. Whatever it is, I'm happy. Meeting a lot of people has been my goal, even thou I'm naturally shy when I meet someone for the first time. This is a good start. It's simple and easy. I should have no problem practising it more till I build more confidence to talk before a lot of people, stating my opinions. Another perk is, it's relaxing. It's somehow lessen my burden if I share my thoughts with someone, even thou it's an Uber driver. After all, we all need someone to listen, not necessarily to solve our problems.

A Love Story of Mss. Jones

pic from google.com

Samantha and Smith are one of my fave couple of all time. There's one episode of SATC where Samantha feels insecure and lost her identity as a "woman". It's the longest she's been in a monogamy relationship with the same guy and it's starting to scare her. At one party she attends with Smith, she's openly go hooking up with her former lover Richard, leaving the young Smith confused as the lift's door closes behind her.

It is a moment of vulnerable, when you make a decision you know you'll regret but you do it anyway. When the only thing to validate yourself is by committing a sin, so you know there's something wrong with you. When you think you lost yourself but turn out you just need a little reminder to find a way back home. Samantha cheats on Smith that night. She goes with a man she knows wouldn't love her the way Smith does. She throws away a chance to spend her life with a guy who genuinely cares about her. She screws up, big time.

The moment she finishes with Richard is like a cue for her to break down. She walks out from the room in her usual self, elegant and dignified. But on the lift ride back down, she can't no longer hold the tears. And there he is, the first thing Samantha sees when the lift's door opens, the man she left behind. He stays, with worry eyes, tapping his fingers back and forth. He stands up as Samantha's eyes meet his.

She knew she'd regret it, but she did it anyway. She was lost, only to find out that she's actually home all along. And Smith is there, to answer all of her doubts, and take her in his arms, save and sound.

Smith stays literally through the thin and the thick of Samantha Jones. He is patience, he listens to her, he do things with her (in which mostly is Samantha's ideas), he is loving. He is by far the second best support system to her, right after the girls. Being with Samantha makes him a gentleman. And him to Samantha is a pleasant surprise to her ever dynamic life. An oasis in the dessert.

If you watch all the series of SATC, you know that Samantha and Smith are no longer together. But I think, what Samantha had with him will always occupy a corner of her heart, where man is rarely a part of it.

Hiding Tonight

It's been cold outside. This week has been tiring that I fell a sleep once I touched my bed. It also has been exciting. New people, challenges, opportunities. Sometimes I think, it's going way too fast than my capacity. 

I feel overwhelm. I feel like suffocated. I feel dizzy. But also curious. Curious what will unfold before me if, 

...

if I keep going, ignoring my the pain of sitting down all day, my red swollen eyes which stare at the laptop for way too long, my scratched ankle cause I wear high heels all day.

Funny is, somewhere in the corner of my mind, there's this echoed sound says, "I won't have it any other way."

PS: If there's anything that makes me so happy right now, it will be foolishly in love like Oliver did.

PPS: I can't never get enough of this movie. And Alex sings on the background.

Bitter Sweet Monday

I have no problem with Monday. But today, uhm, yesterday (cause apparently it's 1.13 am now) was a tough day.

Long story short, there were unexpected event happening when I was doing a photoshoot for a client. I was scheduled to direct a Chinese new year photoshoot at 2 pm, so initially, my photographers and I were going at 1 pm cause it take 45 mins to reach the destination. On our way there, the client called and told me that we had to delay the photoshoot by an hour due to technical problem they had at the office. Okay. We decided to go there anyway and waited, hoping the problem sorted out sooner than the prediction.

It's not. We waited a whole damn hour, even more cause the client arrived at the location about 3.15 pm. Not cool. I wasted an hour and I left my laptop at the office so yes, I was pretty pissed. Imagine how much work you can do in an hour but instead you had to just sit and wait. It's killing me slowly. When the people finally arrived with their products, it hadn't been styled yet, there were no properties the client prepared compatible to support the shooting and people who were supposed to support the shoot seemed to be interesting in watching the photoshoot, not creating a photoshoot. I didn't know how I made it. I remember not thinking at all and tried to work things out. Yep. I didn't think, just did a lot of things in silent and tired eyes. It had to be a team work of 6 people. But the only ones working were 3 people.

It's so stressful to write this down, cause I tried to calm myself down after a super tiring and annoying shoot and recalling back what happened today is simply pissing me off, again. But I have to write this down, to remind the future me that this kind of event sometimes happen in life. You can't really runaway from that kind of situation, specially if it's about your professional career. I can be mad, I can be angry but I don't walk away. I don't leave things unfinished. I finish my responsibilities and have sushi later.

I finished the shoot at 5 pm, rushing to the next meeting which in an hour and the traffic was the worst. Ugh. If everything went on time, I should have wrapped the shoot at 4 pm and I didn't need to speeding to the next schedule. I could have coffee, arranged my presentation bla bla bla but that didn't happen. What happen was I took gojek to my next meeting, arrived 15 minutes late, looking like a mess. The meeting was long, I was exhausting and hungry. I wanted to go home so bad.

You see, not everyone respect your time. Some people even think that once they hire you, all of your time belongs to them, when they are just a small part of your professional life. Some people think that no matter what happen, you have to finish your job which is true, if the other party doesn't screw it by coming an hour late, risking you to come late to a meeting with future potential client. It will be so nice, if people can realise that our time is as gold as theirs.

Grandma's House

I like how my memory connects something with a certain person. Cats and messy bed are my sister. Matcha ice cream is mom. Fish pond and classic records are my dad. Late night Indomie craving is my brother. Everytime I encounter with those things, it reminds me of that person. It makes me think about that person, and how I wish they were there with me. 

When I found out about Brown Feather, the first thing striked my mind was, how I missed my grandma. I remember that @lucedale posted something about it on IG. I was instantly in love with the ambience. Brown Feather is a picture perfect of my dream home: small, warm, TV cable and a big bean bag facing the paddy rice in the middle of Seminyak.

My stay was quite long time ago, around March 2016. I was booking via their website. Their response was quick and helpful. Pricewise, finding a very good place during a long weekend holiday for Rp 450.000,00 at Seminyak considered a good deal. Well, since I was blindly in love with the place, I was pretty much up for anything haha. Honestly, I had super high expectation about the place.  I was nervous though, in case it's not as pretty as the pictures.

But Brown Feather is a beautiful little shelter you can spot from a far. Most hotel and home stay at Seminyak has this modern-minimalis-tropical style with a lot of wood accent. It looks trendy and stylist, of course. Then your eyes spot the reddish brick wall which is Brown Feather. It's simply refreshing. And, as I mentioned hundreds time in this post, comforting. Nothing intimadating or over the top lux. Just, homey.

This is the part where I will let pictures do the talking, cause really, I have a hard time to describe how I enjoyed my time there.

My sister along with my cousins and I stayed a night to celebrate my cousin's engagement. We spent the afternoon wandering around the property, taking pics here and there. Then we enjoyed the breeze by the paddy fields while enjoying a refreshing pinky drinks. I could smell the wet land, still. The air was thick and humid, inviting us to jump to the pool right away. But we didn't, cause we planned to watch the sunset at La Laguna. Fancy afternoon drink involving Cosmo and cute boho decor. I must say that La Laguna is a well designed place. The only thing I hate is they have this "minimum purchase" rule in every stylist corner, which make it everywhere cause everywhere is so stylist. Geez.

We had an early night. I ended the night with a swim. I love night dipping. I usually order a bottle of cold beer while dipping but I was too tired to do anything else. I couldn't see the stars that night. Probably covered by the clouds that hanging low. I heard a faint chatting from the room across mine. A group of young people was discussing about their project that day. They were super exciting. The laughed a lot. That made me miss my people, so I got back to my room after only swim for 15 minute. That night, I was sleeping like a baby. Warm and happy.

I remember very clear that the next day was Sunday and it's raining. I felt super mellow. I brewed a cup of hot coffee then went sitting at the yard after the rain stopped. The other were still inside, hiding underneath the blanket. It was a quite morning. I could barely hear my watch ticking. The air was super fresh cause there were a lot of greens at Brown Feather. I was daydream for almost 20 mins, then my sister called me for breakfast which is Nasi Betutu which my cousins ordered special for their Surabaya's sisters. Ended the breakfast with Livingstone's Nuttela Cheese Cake. A whole cake, attacked by 4 sweet tooths. It was a little barbaric haha. But I couldn't ask anything better that that.

**10 things why I want to stay at Brown Feather again**

1. Friendly staffs.

2. Quite, peaceful and private. It's not like staying at a hotel. It's like staying at, well, grandma's.

2a. I forget to mention how well I slept that night. One of the best sleep. Oh, I did mention that.

2b. They provide a pantry for the guests, in case we want to cook our own meal or craving for Indomie.

2c. They put a big couch by the paddy field, which is practically their back yard, so we can slouch all day while enjoying the breeze.

3. Breakfast from the hotel is simple but warm and delish.

4. The pool is only a step away from your room. And it's mostly empty back then. Me love my own pool.

5. BATHROOM IS SO SICK (and I didn't take a pic of it).

6. A local convinience store is located right beside Brown Feather. No ATM though.

7. They provide us 2 bikes. In case we want to do it old skool way. Yeah.

8. 10 mins to Living Stone by bike.

9. 10 mins to La Laguna by car.

10. Oh, have I told you that every corner of Brown Feather is instaworthy? Now you know.

Sorry if this info is sooo last year. But I believe the place still has its magic ;)

Slow Motion

A thought crossed my mind today as the Uber driver speeded up through the yellow light.

What am I doing here? Floating around, with face looking up to the sky. I cover my eyes cause the sunshine blinds my judgement. Day by day. Longing to hit the shore, missing the solid land against my bare feet. No matter how far my hands reach to the thick summer air, I can't seem to escape the weight on my shoulder.

I scream.

But all I can hear is pleading.

The driver hit the brake hard, causing me jumped to the other side of the passanger seat. I saw a guilty smile on his face for driving carelessly.

Dear, wherever you are, please find me hiding in the shadow of the sun.

1/365

Oh new year...

A certain thing to come once a year. A new year is always identical with new start, new hope, new beginning. It's a celebration for the year that has past, all the hard work all year long and how bad you messed up your resolutions.

It gets a lil bit off for me this year. This is my 25th new year and probably, just probably, I got bored of celebration.

Let's throw it back a little. It'd been a wild year for me. So many changes, so many big decisions I made after 2 a.m, so many down-on-my-knees moments. I'd been up, and I'd been dropped super low, I got a taste of nightmares. It's save for me to say 2016 had been experimental, both in good and bad ways. 2016 had been the most challenging one, because I quit dreaming and started to act.

I guess, it's no longer party and fooling around for me. When you are reaching a quater of century, big celebration is not that much appealing. Imagine, 25 years of non stop pleasures and no responsibilities. I finally get sick of this thing. Now, let's take this fat ass off the couch.

I have a tick tacking clock in my mind, counting down every second I waste not doing something for the better of my future. I believe it's due to a super intense time watching Casey's daily vlog every single day before work (if you're his subscriber, you know what I'm talking about). I have this uneasy feeling, like leaving something unfinished. I have an urge feeling about doing everything at once, that I get confused which one goes first. I have so many on my plate, I can't focus to my priorities.

There are a lot of work to do. I think, if I have to write down a resolution, it will be: better time management. And more happy feeling inside.

That's pretty good for a start.

What do you say, about traveling alone? Strangeland, strange faces. I could learn a thing or two.