A New Beginning

I've been doing this a thousand times. Starting over.

Being a teenager was confusing. But here in my 20s, things are all fucked up. I'm fucked up. I've been doing my current job for 9 months now. New circle, new people, new habits, new ethics. I think it's overwhelmed me, in so many level. 

Do you know when you're exciting you tend to feel a lot of feelings, a lot of thoughts going on in your chest and mind? All at once, demanding to be express at the same time, otherwise you'll explode. That's exactly how I feel. I'm in a fragile, delicate, unstable state cause I can explode anytime. And it's kind of scary.

I'm doing a simple math to solve this. Since I'm entering a new kind of folks, with different way of thinking and different lifestyle, I need to upgrade my self. I demand my self to be more organised, to be more practical and to be more sensitive. I need to be able to read people between the lines and beyond. I need to survive this new challenge thus, I have to be more discipline my self. Specially, about time. As effective as possible.

Why am I doing this? Well, common human calls it adapting, I call it evolving. A change is always started within yourself. It will take time and a lot of effort. You are upgrading yourself after all. You need to install a lot of new programs into your CPU.

If it's easy, then you probably set the bar too low.

;)