hi :)

shoted by gitta dwiputri/edited by me/bali island

the weather is a bit cold today. it's cloudy and windy. buuuut i think summer comes early to my heart as i cant stop smiling to everyone (and everything) i've met. i even smiled to my closet last night hahaaa.. well, i am so happy today because i've been accepted as a new student at one of public university at my city, surabaya (thank god i am really blessed :D). how does it feel? heeem, for me it feels like you just got a million dollars doorprize. speechless. excited. ultra happy, you name it. the best part isnt the money but how people you love get happy for you, kiss you and hug you all the time. laughing with you all the way.
i didnt get it easily. i've failed so many times before. i gave up. i was upset. then suddenly i realized that i couldnt live as a loser forever. that was the day i promised my self to study (extremely) hard and pray more than i've ever done, asked god for his bless. and jeng jeeeng, here i am smiling to my laptop while typing this post. really guys, stand up and get the success after sooo many bad things before tastes the sweetest ;)

congratulation to my friends who also have been accepted at the same university. we should celebrate it together ;) and for those who failed, i wish the best way for you, amin :)

this is not right

yep this is not right



i can't handle my self . I'm tired of fate's game that make me so labile. up and down. gave me a wonderful moment and the next day just drowned me into the sadness. i didn't think about justice, well in this case, in this reality, there's no justice for everyone. that's the rule. i understand it very well.

i don't expect more than what's been going on here. at first i thought if I let it flow, it automaticly would have found the way back. someday I'd find a moment i could stand this better than before. but so far, i haven't seen any light or even clue to get out this endless darkness.

I'm lost.

and no one tried to find me here.




oh or maybe i don't want to be found.

i don't wish they will understand me as i try very hard to understand them because the world i live today is a totally stranger for me.

wishing this devil pass me trough, and the sun will shine brightly to me, defeat the darkness around me, save me from the dragon. as if..

as we laughed together somehow i felt so happy

so last week was the hardest time ever that i was very upset with everything in my life. i felt like a loser that i only made anybody else feel sad.

and my mom could read what exactly i was thinking about. she took me to malang city, looking for fresh air with my daddy and also my siblings. i am not a very open minded person or even an assertive one. so thanks god i have my mom with me who always can read my mind (well it's my assumption).

we went to a brand new hang out spot at batu (in malang city) named museum of animals diorama. well at the very first time, it sounded a boring place with lots of fake animal (but my sister does love it very much. i mean she loves animals so damn MUCH). but heeeyyy, it was so beautiful place with its cool contemporer arts, its good atmosphere, and absolutely its looked-like-life-animals :D astonishing!

the entrance















i really love the artworks of those animals' artist. superb superb!









mom's head popped up between me and gitta dwiputri hahaha

it was the biggest smile i had after hours-of-crying-so-hard-moments and stressful times last week. i do believe now that family has its own magic to make us feel somehow glad and fabulous. thank you guys, what's the value in this suck life without you? :) hehehe enjoy the euphoria of march people.

ps: it's less than 2 weeks before the national exams. wish me a BIG luck guys. oh i need a MASSIVE one i think :D

flying outter space

i feel so absurd lately.

like my head has separated from my body, like my brain's having a disfunction of commanding what i should do. hell. it may be caused by the national exams which will be held less than 30 days later (aarrrgghhhh). yes people, I'm going to face the exams very SOON. it's only earthquake or terribly flood will cancel it to be held next month. oh god oh god... i don't think next month will be the right time to hold any exams. oh yeah anytime won't be the right time as i feel sooooo unready to FACE it.

okay leave those behind, let's talk about something else

well, i had some awkward dreams several times. ehemm ehemm i dreamt about him (don't laugh please). those weren't romantic dreams or something, well i don't even remember how he looked like in my dream. it's likely combination of action movie and crayon shinchan in one scene (oh my god this is embracing that i am telling you the silliest dreams ever). there weren't any hug or even kiss (have i told you it's totally unromantic dreams? oh i have). it was him driving somewhere when a bad guy popped up and messing around us. yes, he saved me from the bad guy and ask me to have lunch together. can you guess where he took me for lunch??? no it wasn't lunch at Eiffel tower or Italian restaurant. well he took me to one of pecel seller (pecel is traditional culinary from madiun, Indonesia. so we put some vegetables together and add peanut sauce on the top). we ate so damn much there and then went home with extremely full tummy. the end.

ha ha ha ha haa....

those dreams are haunting me these days (how could i take it off from my head if it was you there in my dreams?!). well mostly because i still don't understand what message those dreams wanted to tell me. for god's shake I'd give all of my saving if only i could rewind the dreams once again and recorded it in video. oh I'm desperately silly zzzzzzzz

shoted by gitta dwiputri
sanur beach, bali island

oh and at last, please please pray me for a success national exams. i really need everyone supports to pass it (very) well. thank you before guys :) hope happy last days of February :) :)

thank you 2009, watch out 2010!

time flies and here we are, facing the new year 2010. it feels like yesterday i just celebrated the new year 2009 but now, woaaa...

many things happened and thank god there were tons of sweet things happened :) if i try to memorize, i feel like wanna fly back to those moments so i couldn't forget it forever, having fun once more before i fill this new year with another sweet journey. I'm sooo happy to have you guys at the past year and i wish we can be together so on :) a simple wish, isn't it?

shoted by ajus adi
where : sanur beach, bali
when : 2009
inside : the only sister and brother, gitta dwiputri and dimas adiputra, me




shoted by vovo
where : kebun bibit
when : 2009
inside : school buddies, vidyana putri and nila wahyu, me




shoted by me
where : antique shop
when : 2009
inside : Buddha and me




shoted by anonym (i really forgot who took this picture)
where : PASCH at 15 senior high
when : 2009
inside : syfa alam and me




shoted by asdhi
where : parking lot of food fest
when : eka putri's birthday party, 2009
inside : asdhi , zyra brenda, sugiono, syfa alam, me




shoted by galuh pratiwi
where : tunjungan plaza's roof top
when : 2009
inside : ayu sulistya, me




shoted by gitta dwiputri
where : oen, ice cream shop at malang city
when : 2009
inside : dimas adiputra and me




shoted by anonym (i forgot also)
where : mushola of 15 senior high
when : pondok ramadhan 2009
inside : ayu sulistya, vidyana putri, zyra brenda, galuh pratiwi, me

and also those sadness moments when i desperately down, when i thought that i couldn't stand up anymore, thank you god for being with me and telling me how to solve them up. with unexpected ways you show me that you always hear my prayers. those moments mean a lot to make me a better and a mature human than before. thank you thank you, i love you soo much more the life it self :)

wish me a happy 2010 guys :) and a happy end for the national exams hahahaa.. good luck for your life. toast for the new year!

it's not you , it's me

hi dude .

i know we don't know each other well

i may never call your name in my dreams
i may never think of you in every single breathe i take everyday
i may never imagine to be your lady even in my wildest vision because it's harder than fly without wings :)
I'm pretty sure you do the same things as i do

i live in a rude world but it doesn't mean i stop dreaming
I'm rational but it doesn't mean I'm not a daydreamer
i keep my dream safely in the corner of my heart
waiting for peter pan to open it and let them fly away to the sky
there's only one dream that stays instead : to be with you
the most impossible thing in my rational world yet I'm happy to think about it even though it wouldn't be true
being all the way you are , a free and serious human at the same time , is enough for me


because my puzzle isn't the one which perfectly matches with yours


congratulation , you've successfully shocked my life with confetties and also tears







thank you very much to make me feel this way

thank God it's friday !

i couldn't sleep well guys . that's why i'm here , typing such a late-night-post . but don't worry . i won't make you feel bore .

location : home
shooted by me

actually , i didn't go to school today . why ? ? my school has very tight rules that i've ( and my sister because we're schooling at the same place ) broken one of the rules : students must come at least 5 minutes before the bell rings and if they come late , they aren't allowed to enter the school ( even the school yard ) . so i decided to go back home , preteded to continue my-quality-sleep-time .

the fact , i didn't go to bed but took some shoots with my sister in our batik uniform . haha

everyone belives that they can fly . neither do i .



location : home
shooted by my sister
inside : me



location : home
shooted by me
inside : my sister

my mom looked very happy ( well , in my eyes ) that she wasn't alone at home . at first she was worrying about our lessons at school , " is it anytest today ? is it okay you guys aren't at school ? should i call the teacher ? " and i answered with big NO for all the questions .

location : home
shooted by me

i'm so sorry alyn , my lovely desk mate , for letting you sat alone at those classes today . i expected someone would be please to sit with you . i promise you not to come late anymore ( but i think it's okay if i wake up late haha )

ughh , i have to go sleep . . good night folks !

a life after the party

hello holla guys . .

last saturday , i went to zyra's sweet 17th birthday party . well actually , i helped her for the preparation . it's a bit busy but i like it . may be i'm a natural-born-party-organiser . haha . . by the way the party was so nice that i ate too much instead .

location : my hand
shooted by vidyana putri
inside : tattoo " today is my pal's birthday "

so we went to TP for a window shopping ( zyra wanted a dress for the party ) . it was so hard to decide which dresses she should buy because they all were amazing . but finally zy picked the purple dress from simplycity , i totally agreed with it .

location : fitting room
shooted by zyra brenda
inside : me . zyra brenda





location : fitting room , TP
shooted by me

on Sunday morning i drove to galuh's house for DVDs marathon . i supposed to study for the national exams but i spent most of my time to refresh my mind before monday came . i hate monday , tuesday , wednesday , thursday and friday . i love saturday and sunday and all those red-dates on calendar .

location : galuh's house
shooted by galuh pratiwi
inside : me , ayu sulistya

hey , have you met my darling ? the gorgeous brown-spots (if you see it very VERY close) ray ban .

location : galuh's house
shooted by galuh pratiwi
inside : my dearest ray ban

annnddd , i've found a new hobby . i often draw on my hands . people called it tattoo . well , i'm not very good at it yet . but it's sooo much fun to do it during the class . it's one of somethings that keeps me awake . HAHAA

location : my hand
shooted by vidyana putri
inside : my tattoo

last night i met a taxi driver on my way to gramedia expo to watch the 3D concert . he were sharing his life story to me . well , it's not a dramatical story like TV drama but closely . the good point is how he solved his problems one by one wisely . i adored his life principles . he said , " you are all the way you are . don't depend on somebody else even it's you husband . because life changes . you may on the top right now but who knows what gonna be happened tomorrow ? do yor best for your own life. "

the 3D concert was soooooo amazing ! i jumped from side to side , danced , scream , and sang along the music were playing .

the party's over . i am going to study very hard for my daily tests and absolutely , NATIONAL exams .

. . . . . i HATE exam . . . . . .

ciaoo !

a life I live in

n i h a o !

it likes a year haven't updated my blog . so sorry guys . since school was started i have had sooo many things to do : home works , tasks , tests . . . arrgghhh ! sometimes i couldn't hold it that i just wanna shout " ENOUUGGHH ! " to the world .

my life wasn't going so well guys .

first , i have a problem with my self control . it's so easy to get angry to everything . does it mean that i'm temperamental ? for god's shake i hate to be angry to ANYONE . so , it's so weird to realise it .

secondary , i'm soooo agitated with a boy whom i don't really know personaly . yeaaahh , it's you batu kali ! i hate you to be the most uncare creature in this earth . huuuuu~

the third is . . . . JENG JENG JEEENGGG . . . i can't decide what to do with my english course . yes , i'm on my way to finish my senior year , the last year at high school . and yes , i have to concern with it which means i need more study-hard-time , to reach the best score at nasional exams and also at the school final exams . buuuttt , i do love the time i've spent at EF with those unique humans . i feel so ALIVE around them . they've been my survival kit to heal me from the pain i've felt so far . thank youuu guys for letting me 'express' my crazy passion and for being there , at the class , every tuesday and thursday with me . :) :) :)

listening to the killers - this is your life

hey , i have some very good shoots that only be seen by you . haha here they go !

location : sociology class , sman 15 surabaya
shooted by ichsan ( class leader )
inside : ME . zyra brenda , vidyana putri , randa , soegieono , bally airlangga , fasha , dani irawan , ndeso , hevany , ndutmania , diah , DZ .

it was taken at October the 5nd , 3 days after UNESCO declared that batik is Indonesia's . we were very excited although it was too late to wear batik ( it should be at October the 2nd , the batik day ) . it's sooooo fun to celebrate it together with friends . now , we always wear batik every friday . asiikkkk !

see you soon guys . good luck for your life !

distracted harmony

i'm missing some of my friends lately . it's ridiculous that they are still with me these days . but i just feel so lonely and get worry about them . what is it god ? is it a sign ?
the one i've missed is craig , my english tutor at EF . he hasn't been my tutor anymore since someone named alex came replacing him . honestly , i prefer craig and it's not unreasonly . craig is someone i really adore at because he used to say something wise . he treated me just like his own daughter and i was pleased for that . it's not only me , but all of his students . he's fun and used to act like mr. bean just to make us laughed . one thing for sure is he really cared about us personaly . alex is . . . a bit different .
another guy is my pony boy . he's my classmate when i was on the first year at senior high . he isn't someone like craig because he hasn't been mature yet . so why am i missing him ? simple , he's my best buddy ever . he was the only boy whom i shared my little secrets with . even he got laughing after that , he responed my story seriously . he is the one who got my sympathy because of his life story that wasn't a 'happilly ever after' story .

but thank god my life isn't a soap opera . there were some fun times with the besties and the boy who pops up in my days . yes , i'm on a crush with him , eemmm maybe . haha . i'm on my way to be his friend , wish me luck guys .

location : rooftop , TP
shooted by galuh pratiwi
inside : me , zyra brenda , aiu putri

and the cutest one , abu my cat which really wants his pictures to be uploaded on my blog . miaww !

location : window at my bed room
shooted by me
inside : the bad cat , abu

you must be bored with this lack-of-picture-posting . haha . i'll see you guys soon with another posting ! hope the happy days this month !

in love ?

beberapa tahun belakangan ini . saya sengaja menghindar , menjaga jarak , memberi batas sama hal ini .

kenapa ?

kalo saya lagi 'tertarik' sama orang , self-control saya turun drastis , jadi sedikit lebih alay , dan berantakan .

berantakan apa ?

saya in termasuk orang yang 'tertata' . saya selalu preapere mo ngomong apa kalo ketemu sama orang itu . saya selalu siaga kalo kalo ada hal yang saya g bisa antisipasi , kejadian . saya selalu punya 1001 rencana cadangan di otak saya , all for a perfect time with him ( that i've planed it in my brain )

masalah ?

being in love just messes everything i've prepared . saya jadi blank , rencana saya semua kabur , sembunyi dari jangkauan otak saya . nah , yang ada cuma saya , yang longa longo engg tau mesti ngapain dan ngomong apa sama orang itu . hah ! hal itu jelas jelas bikin saya gregetan setengah hidup . how come ? ? what spell that he uses at me so i can't think A BIT clearly ! ? saya engg terimaaa !

lately , saya merasa tanda tanda 'bahaya' itu dateng . . .
hell . .

riverside

it's like a routine for my family to go to malang every sunday morning .
nothing's necesary to do but it's always fun to have a day-out-from-town-with-family . and YES , take some shoots . :D
sooooo , here they are the shoots !

location : riverside
shooted by : sister ! *who else ?*

i do love to see something natural , yellowish , and greenish : calm me down .
PS : hey sist you should be a great photographer after all-day-shoots with me . keep on practicing !